14 Week Update

How far along: 14 weeks, 3 days
Weight gain/loss: 152 was my last (15 lbs total so far)
Maternity clothes: Yep. Most clothes are uncomfortable. My small sweats are getting too tight in the waist. All my lululemon is in storage -- aside from 3 pairs of loose fitting pants. I bought a pair of large cotton drawstring sweats -- they are heaven! My bra strap extenders and new maternity bras (they are cute for maternity!) have been lifesavers. 
Sleep: Wake up 1-2/night to go to the bathroom. Having 2 Starbucks venti size water bottles by my bedside has been so helpful, so that I don't have to refill my one bottle in the middle of the night. After a week or two with the memory foam body pillow and still having neck/occipital pain, I'm finding the regular old body pillow with my mini travel pillow and a king size feather pillow under my head is most helpful, but despite the change, I still get neck pain in the morning. :(
Best moment this week: I thought I felt the babies move at 13w5d when we were singing tautas dziesmas (Latvian folk songs) at my friend Maritia's baby shower. It really felt like it! Maybe it was? Maybe it was just stretching? 
Miss Anything? Cleaning the house/organizing as much as I really want to! Being able to stand and walk around for long periods. Not having occipital pain/headaches. Regular sandwiches with deli meat!
Movement: See above
Food cravings: Not as strong lately. I was craving fries and a shake though, so had to stop at Ray's the other day. I'm trying not to eat too much sugar, but those cravings for sweets seem to take over! It seems I crave much healthier food when not pregnant, which is strange. I'm just going to guess my body needs the calories. The OB said about 900 extra calories per day, but the supposed "bible" of multiple pregnancies book I'm reading says triplet moms should aim for 4,000 calories per day to have optimal weight babies at birth! Wow! I've kept track for a few days on an app and I'm hovering just over 3,000 -- I think that's pretty good! ;)
Anything making your queasy or sick? If I go too long without eating, I feel nauseated. Usually happens in the morning after breakfast #1, then I need to eat again shortly after. Tonight I waited too long to eat dinner and got really low blood sugar. 
Have you started to show yet? Oh yeah ;)
Prayers: I pray that the twins' placenta will migrate out of the previa position and move to the posterior side. I pray that my cervix stays long at 3.6 or greater and closed. I pray that baby A and B share their nutrition equally. I pray for God to stand by me and protect our little miracles allowing me to carry them as long as possible. I pray to reach our first goal of 28 weeks, then 30 weeks, 32, 34 and hopefully 35! 
Labor signs: No
Belly button in or out? In
Stretch marks: No
Mood: Some mood changes this week. Overall happy and content, with bouts of the blues and anxious feelings. I have had some irritable episodes that feel totally not me and totally out of my control -- hormones?? 
Looking forward to: The anatomy scan at 16 weeks!! 

14 week bump (looks a little funny with the shadow behind me)

First Trimester Summary

I'm into my second trimester now, but I wanted to share a brief summary of my first trimester experience. To keep things simple, I am using the "universal" pregnancy update template, with some minor tweaks. As a note, we are having "mono-di" or monochorionic diamniotic identical twins and a singleton -- in other words we have identical twins split from one embryo sharing a placenta but in their own sacs and a singleton with its own placenta and sac. 

Weight gain/loss: I started my pregnancy somewhere around 137 lbs. I gained a few pounds while on all the medication during IVF, so my pre-pregnancy/IVF weight was 132-133. 
Maternity clothes: Maternity clothes started at 9 weeks. However, I started the pregnancy swollen in the abdomen because I developed mild Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome after my last round of IVF (SO painful and pretty frightening -- luckily it passed in a few days. Fun fact: the symptoms came back the day before our Beta pregnancy test, an indicator I was pregnant because I guess OHSS symptoms can resurface due to a surge in hCG). From the retrieval date onward, I had to close my jeans with a hair tie. I was still able to wear all of my clothes until about 9 weeks. I bought two Belly Bands, which I really only used 2-3 times because I grew too quickly and my pre-pregnancy jeans and any other pants were extremely uncomfortable.
Sleep: Sleeping was pretty much fine until 12 weeks, even though I started using a regular body pillow at 8-9 weeks (to be honest ever since I had surgery for endometriosis in 2013, having a pillow or blanket supporting my abdomen when I sleep has felt more comforable). At the 12-week mark, I started getting really uncomfortable and bought a memory foam body pillow. I thought it might resolve the neck/occipital pain and headaches I was getting nearly every morning. For a few days it did, but then the pain came back. What feels comfortable seems to change nightly. I've been sleeping a lot, going to bed between 9:30-11 pm depending on the night and sleeping until 8-8:30 am -- plus almost daily naps!
Best moments: Seeing our babies move a ton at our 9 week scan. Baby A (twin 1) was doing flips, Baby B (twin 2) was moving its little arms and Baby C (singleton) was just hanging out. Then at 12 weeks we got to see a 3D ultrasound, which was so cool! There was so much movement going on and babies were bigger (we were very happy Baby B caught up in growth by 2 days to Baby A). At all of our scans so far Baby A is measuring right on, Baby B around 2 days behind and Baby C 2-4 days ahead. 
Miss anything? Sauvignon Blanc, sushi, ice cold summer beer, comfortable sleeping, turkey/ham/any deli meat sandwiches
Food cravings: Major random cravings from weeks 7-12. When I had morning sickness in weeks 7-9.5 it was Chex cereal, peaches, apples, watermelon/melon, Amy's gluten free mac and cheese and potato wedges from the Jewel-Osco deli (all vegetables, salads, and meats sounded terrible!). Later on, I wanted random things that I either never or rarely eat like a hot dog with all the fixings, Runts candy, hot fudge sundae, milkshakes, a "regular" non-gluten free burger, fries -- obviously not the healthiest! 
Anything making you queasy or sick? As I mentioned, I had morning sickness from weeks 7-9.5 -- luckily not very long! I was scared I was going to throw up on the train during my morning commute, so for the entire 35-40 minute ride I ate crackers and chewy ginger candies like crazy and carried a plastic bag with me, just in case. 
Have you started to show yet? As I mentioned, I was swollen from IVF/OHSS since the beginning, so it was hard to tell whether my "showing" at the beginning was from my swollen ovaries or pregnancy. Either way, I was showing pretty much right away, with a true little belly developing at 8 weeks. 
Gender predictions: The day before our first scan I dreamt I had boy/girl twins on Christmas day. The next day we found out it was twins (but then two weeks later found out it was triplets!). We are kind of hoping for boy twins and a single girl, but just want healthy babies!
Prayers: I prayed so much this IVF cycle and throughout the pregnancy so far. I've received so much support from my husband, other friends going through IVF, from the Stepping Stones forum, and from my own faith. My whole perspective changed in the 3rd cycle when I no longer felt alone. 
Stretch marks: No
Mood: A mix of calm, faith and anxiety in the first trimester. Lots of stress when we initially found out about the triplets and around our out of state move.
Other: The biggest surprise of the first trimester was going from knowing we were pregnant two weeks after the transfer, to seeing twins on our ultrasound at the 6 week scan, to seeing a third baby at our 7.5 week scan! During trimester one we had a lot of tough decisions about genetic testing to make. When we first found out about the triplets, rather than getting a congratulations, we were asked if we wanted a reduction. We went to numerous appointments feeling scared, but collected all the information we needed. We decided to opt out of any really invasive testing procedures and wait until later in the pregnancy and make a decision about doing an amnio at that time if necessary. Trimester one was pretty smooth aside from the brief nausea/aversions and tiredness (although, I don't think this goes away...). I had one episode of very intense pelvic pain around 10 weeks and we decided to go to the regular OB to get checked out. Everything turned out fine, she said it was likely ligament pain and stretching -- pains most singleton moms feel much later in their pregnancies, but multiple moms can feel early. Overall, as the weeks have gone by and we're under the regular care of our new OB and Maternal Fetal OB, we feel less fear and much more excitement. My goal is to keep these babies in as long as possible! Making it to 34 weeks is our big goal -- the week of Christmas! 

Some first trimester photos:

9 weeks

10 weeks

11 weeks

12 weeks

Our Triplet Miracle

I never intended to write about my struggles with infertility, but knowing how much others' infertility blogs helped me cope and now that I find myself turning to triplet pregnancy blogs for encouragement I thought to share my triplet pregnancy journey.

I don't intend for this to be as in depth as blogs I've read focused solely on infertility and pregnancy, so I'll share our brief summary of how our triplet miracles came to be.

We found out we were pregnant May 2015 after struggling on our own for a while (and undergoing surgery for endometriosis & removal of cysts in 2013) and then seeking treatment at a Reproductive Endocrinology clinic from May 2014-June 2015 and undergoing:

4 medicated IUIs: Femara, Ovidrel, Progesterone suppositories - all BFNs
IVF#1 (Fresh cycle): Birth control protocol, low dose Menopur, Follistim, Ganirelix, Ovidrel, Progesterone in Oil - BFP, chemical pregnancy :(
IVF #2 (Fresh cycle): Highest dose Menopur, Follistim, Saizen growth hormone, Ganirelix, Ovidrel, Progesterone in Oil - BFN
IVF #3 (Fresh cycle): Customized Chinese herbs (tea form, went through three rounds before we found the one), CoQ10 with Ubiquinol 3x daily, Estrogen priming protocol with Vivelle patches, Endometrial scratch procedure, highest dose Menopur, Follistim, Ganirelix, Ovidrel, Progesterone in Oil - BFP, Triplets!!! (Beta 1: 207.5, Beta 2: 646.4 -- we suspected multiples...)

* I have been going to acupuncture for nine years and went consistently throughout my treatments

Because I decided to start writing about my experience in my second trimester, in my next post I'll share a first trimester summary and then intend to share weekly updates going forward. I know that what helped me the most was reading success stories of those who had been there and having a support network both online and with friends who were on the journey at the same time. I hope that by sharing my experience, I can help someone out there find hope. No two paths are alike when it comes to infertility and pregnancy, but seeing that others struggled and then were blessed with a miracle has helped me have faith and see there is light at the end of what can be a dark and lonely path. To anyone feeling isolated, ashamed, scared, confused -- remember, you are NOT alone. I found that sharing openly with people I trusted connected me to others who were struggling, too. Being able to share and lean on someone who knows what you're going through, as well as provide support, prayers and encouraging words to someone else, serves as a true gift during a difficult time.

My Yoga Journey

Over the last few months I thought about returning to my blog, but so much of my time has been devoted to our journey through fertility issues, which can end up consuming large parts of your life. In the midst of many doctor's appointments and visits to the reproductive endocrinology clinic, I started yoga teacher training and the blog continued to take a back seat. But, today I came across an article that moved me to return to the blog and inspired me share my journey to yoga teacher training.

The article focused on how to set yourself apart as a yoga teacher by finding your "own personal why" -- essentially the "defining moment when you experienced deep transformation that may have led directly, or indirectly, to choosing yoga..." or "instigated your deep calling to choose a path of helping others as a yoga teacher."

Immediately one distinct memory came to mind. I believe I was a junior or senior in high school, hanging out one evening at a friend's house. Her dad practiced yoga, which in our small town seemed like a rarity. I don't remember exactly how it came about, but he gave us a copy of Yoga Journal and I remember sitting in the den reading the Wisdom section and having a profound "aha" moment of discovering this entire "other world" of yoga philosophy and this other way of thinking existed. I remember thinking, I really like this, this is me. I borrowed the magazine and poured through its pages, falling in love with everything yoga was about. I honestly don't recall if I even practiced yoga asana (postures) before my senior year of college -- I think I took a class at the studio where my friend's dad practiced, but it was the yoga philosophy and "wisdom" that hooked me, which is why that holds such importance in my practice and in what I envision to be my voice as a teacher. 

I ended up taking yoga as an elective during my senior year of college. It was my first real exposure to learning more about asana and my first experience sequencing a class (this was our final assignment). I enjoyed the class, but it wasn't until a year or so later, when I fell in love with yoga all over again during my first restorative yoga class. I had the most amazing teacher, whose classes left me feeling as though I was floating on air, had a two hour massage and had a spiritual experience all at once. While taking her classes, I was going through a difficult time and was having issues with chronic back pain and issues with sciatica. Being able to release deeply in supported postures was the medicine my body needed. At the beginning and end of class, she would read inspirational passages that cultivated that same feeling I had when reading my first Yoga Journal... "this is my kind of thinking, this is awesome, this is grounding, this is me..." She also used to place oracle cards (the Magical Mermaids and Dolphins oracle cards) out at the end of class, allowing us to select one from the pile. They were always face down and the one I selected always seemed to be exactly what I needed in that moment. The entire experience was ultimately a spiritual practice for me. 

During this same time, I began grow tired of writing about automotive insurance at the magazine I worked for and became more interested in yoga articles and compiling a wellness binder with Yoga Journal articles on yoga philosophy and wisdom, asana and various clippings on holistic wellness, happiness and health. After I left my job and began working at lululemon, my exposure to all types of yoga and prominent yogis and teachers within the community expanded. I started to identify the styles of yoga I loved and the styles that were not quite for me. I discovered my preference for classes that were more introspective in nature and I began to find myself on my mat. My mat was a place I slowly learned -- and am still learning -- to let go of judgement. It was a place I strengthened -- and also released -- my body. It was a place I remember shedding tears during sleeping pigeon when a favorite teacher would read a particularly empowering quote at the end of class. It was a place I did my first handstand and saw the world upside down. During particularly difficult times, my mat and my practice kept me balanced and helped me cope. It was, and still is, my space to express, challenge, grow, relax, connect, ground... to just be.

Years went by and I continued to evolve in my practice. After returning to school for public health and over time developing my personal and professional mission to help others live happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives, my interest in yoga remained steady, but the thought to go through teacher training hadn't re-entered my mind. This past spring I realized something in my life was missing -- I found myself "seeking", as I often do. I knew I had always been so moved by yoga, spirituality, health, wellness and anything having to do with growth and fulfilling one's potential. Then it clicked. The underlying desire to teach and share the beauty and profoundness of all that is yoga has been there since the moment I opened that first Yoga Journal. That was the day the seed was planted. Over the years I nurtured that seed as it slowly sprouted and grew with the ups and downs of life experience. How fitting that in my decision to begin teacher training, I enrolled at a studio called Bloom.

My entire life experience has contributed to my "deep calling to choose a path of helping others as a yoga teacher," but if I look back it was that one moment that served as the spark. 

Take a moment and think about your "personal why"?  What is it that called you to your chosen path? 

Be Here, Be Grateful

Shortly after deciding to commit to my gratitude jar "practice", I also decided to try the #100HappyDays challenge on Instagram. My cousin just reached her 100 days and it made me happy to see she had so many wonderful things to be happy about. I wasn't sure if it would have any real impact at first, but now I see it as another way to help bring you into the present moment. I've made a few observations over the last few weeks:

1. Some days I find I could add 10 slips of paper to my gratitude jar and post several #100HappyDays photos, whereas other days, it is isn't so easy. What I love about the #100HappyDays challenge is that it holds you accountable to posting every day and finding something that makes you happy and that you are grateful for. It surprises you when you really can find something every day - big or small, there is always something to be grateful for.

2. I think using both a gratitude jar and doing the #100HappyDays challenge is helpful to fully cultivate happiness and gratitude, because some things are better captured visually, while others can only be captured in words. 

3. I noticed that when I take photos with intention, I am able to remember what I was feeling when I took the photo and it helps me tap back into that joy, happiness and gratitude I felt in that moment. It's funny how something, when done with intention, can produce a result with more depth and meaning.

4. I came to the realization yesterday that I am much more future-oriented than I desire to be. I wasn't always this way, but over the last few years I've caught myself focusing so much on what's ahead, what I have to do next, and what I want in the future, that I don't fully appreciate the present. I've struggled with anxiety and often this is where anxiety comes from -- when you're over "there" and not here. I read something yesterday that said, "letting go of being too future-oriented doesn't mean you stop planning, it just means you don't let the planning get in the way of the present moment." This will continue to be a journey for me, but I think that being aware and focusing on practices that bring me into the "now",  will move me along the path to living a more present life. I'm sure my yoga teacher training will also teach me a thing or two ;)

#100HappyDays moments: Relaxed, At Peace, Feeling "Home", Whole, Happy, Grateful, Accomplished, Calm Mind, Happy Body, Grateful, Joyful, In Love, Happy, Smiling from the Inside Out, Nostalgic, Happy, At Peace.

When you practice staying present, pay attention to the feelings and emotions that arise. I think you'll be surprised how many times being happy and grateful pop up.  

Natural Beauty

In my posts I've been focusing mostly on visions, goals & self-discovery, but there are many other things that contribute to feeling healthy, happy & fulfilled. Because I know how difficult it can be to find great natural or organic beauty products, I'd like to share some that I love.

A few years ago, I became interested in swapping my "conventional" beauty products for "healthier" natural and/or organic options. I tested different brands, but never really found products that I loved. So, I went back to most of what I was using before. It wasn't until I attended a lecture this past fall and found out about the Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep Cosmetics Database, that I really committed to making the switch.

The Skin Deep Cosmetics Database allows you to look up nearly every beauty & cosmetic product on the market, view its contents and it will notify you of potential ingredient health hazards (1= low hazard, 10= high hazard). After taking a look at some of the products I had been using, I decided it was time to find healthier & safer alternatives.

I haven't made the switch with every product I use, but here are a few that I absolutely love!

Real Purity Deodorant

Pacifica Island Vanilla Perfume Roll On

Beauty Without Cruelty Eye Makeup Remover

EO Everyone Face for Every Day Tone

EO Everyone Face for Every Day Moisturize

EO Everyone Lotion Face Hands Body Coconut + Lemon

EO Everyone Face for Every Day Exfoliate

Rarely does a natural deodorant get five star reviews. After trying at least seven different natural deodorants that failed for various reasons (sticky, smelly, didn't last, left white marks, etc.), I was so happy to find Real Purity. It actually works. I'm not kidding. It smells light and fresh, goes on clear, it isn't sticky and it lasts all day -- even in the summer! There are times I will reapply, but overall this is an amazing product and I am so thankful my natural deodorant search is over! 

(EWG score: 1)

Nearly all perfumes have a high hazard score on Skin Deep. I'd like to make my own perfumes with essential oils, but haven't done that just yet. For now, I did find a lovely alternative. Pacifica Island Vanilla perfume has a sweet vanilla scent, mixed with honey-jasmine. It is perfect for every day wear.

(EWG score: 4 - The perfume is not listed, this is for the Island Vanilla Body Wash)

I love this eye make up remover by Beauty Without Cruelty. I apply it to a cotton ball and my eye make up comes off effortlessly -- no pulling or rubbing on the eye area needed. It is gentle, fragrance free and doesn't leave any greasy residue. It is all around a wonderful product!

(EWG score: 2)

I am in love with the EO brand. The products are high quality, but affordable. The Everyone Face Tone I use in the evening after I wash my face. It is gentle (I have oily and sometimes sensitive skin) and removes the last traces of oil and make up, leaving my skin feeling refreshed. (EWG score: 3) 

I wash my face twice a day with the Everyone Face Exfoliate. Normally, exfoliating more than once a day can be harsh on the skin, but this is very gentle. It has a light citrusy smell and leaves my skin feeling clean, but also moisturized -- not stripped. (EWG score: 2)

The Everyone Lotion in Coconut + Lemon is a favorite. Not only do I love this lotion because coconut & lemon is my favorite scent combination, but because it is not at all greasy and does a great job moisturizing skin all year round. Did I mention it smells amazing? :) (EWG score: 2)

Lastly, the Everyone Face Moisturize face lotion has become my staple face moisturizer. Over the years I have probably tried at least 10 -- not kidding -- different face moisturizers. Because I have oily, sensitive - and in the winter more combination - skin, other products would make my face greasy, breakout prone, or red and itchy. This lotion is light, not greasy and wears well under make up. I love it! The smell is a bit odd, but it does the job so well, I can look past the smell! (EWG score: 2)

I hope you found this helpful if you are looking for new natural beauty products -- or if you're thinking of making the switch! In the future, I plan to test out some homemade beauty products and share them here!

Dreams Manifesting...

I am so excited to announce my upcoming class!

Vision Board Workshop

Where: Bodhi Spiritual Center
                 2746 N. Magnolia
             Chicago, IL 60614

When: Thursday, July 24 - 7:00 to 9:00 pm

This is a relaxed class sure to help you get clear on your goals, while also allowing you to tap into your creative side! Come with an open mind, leaving feeling inspired and empowered!

Learn more and register here. 

Hope to see you there!